A Journey To Hope

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Good morning team awesome.

I have been waiting to post as I'm not sure what I should post I had neither good news or bad news I guess. Out of all the tumors that I have one has decided to shrink and two have decided to grow I don't know if I have about 40 tumors now I never ever got a firm number but of all those tumors three decided to change a bit. I go in four weeks for another CT scan to see if my tumours in my lungs and lymph nodes have shrunk I won't know that for another five weeks. My mom has gone to the oncologist this morning so I have no news on her yet once I find out I will pass it on thank you for all your prayers and support. I love y'all

Good morning team awesome. Well I'm off to oncologist this morning to get the results of my MRI. I'm a little apprehensive as lately we always seem to be getting bad news but I'm still hopeful that God has a plan for me and will continue to heal me through this journey of mine. My mom has an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow to see about her cancer. I will let you know how things turn out today thank you for your prayers God bless

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Good Morning Team Awesome
well I have been on this new drug 3 1/2 weeks now and I was feeling really good better than I had in 8 months, then I went to the doctor and he said I was doing so well that he wanted me to take one more pill a day. So I did , then all of a sudden I wasn't doing well, so I dropped back down to 3 pills and I feel better again. I see him again this week and then I'll need an MRI and CT scan that will tell us if the meds really are working.

I've had some good news this week and some bad news. First the bad, or should I say sad. My daughter went for her ultra sound yesterday to find out the sex of our babe. When they did the ultrasound they could not find a heart beat, so our hearts are broken She goes on Sunday to have things finalized. The other unfortunate part is her husband, Gord, leaves Sunday night to go to school for the last phase of his apprenticeship for eight weeks in Ottawa. Please pray for my daughter and her family.

This week I got an email from the granddaughter I haven't seen in 14 years - not since her 2nd birthday. She asked if she could come see us and spend time with us. She turns 16 this Thursday and she is coming to spend the day with us on Saturday. So a major happy event.

Yesterday Brad, Joel George and I were interviewed by CKWS Kingston - it will be on Monday night between 6-7 on the news. Joel won an award at the DocFest for the short version of Vivacious. He is turning it into a full length video with Teresa Bell and an other friend who is fighting the battle with cancer. He is seeking some public funding to help complete a full length film.

This has been a bitter-sweet week - I have found a grand-child and lost a grand-child. Please pray for all of us - especially our little angel.....

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Good Morning Team Awesome!
Well it is officially two weeks today that I started on the new medicine. I am very very happy to report that I have tolerated it well, infact better than I'm think I'm suppose to..LOL Even a lot of the old side effects are gone a lot more swelling is gone from my face no bathroom issues and i am pretty much out of bed all the time now. I feel alive again. I go see my cancer doctor tomorrow. Im sure he will book a ct scan and an mri for me at that time to see if things are really working. I feel good and that's all i care about right now..Its so nice to feel good for a change.

My mom came through her surgery fine and is up and about, she will still need a few weeks to get strong but so far 2015 is treating us ok.
Thank you for all your prayers and support again I couldn't go through this with out your support. Love you all.......

All mom wanted was spring today. So Brad is making it so.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Good Morning Team Awesome

I want to thank all of you for your comments and prayers the other day when I was so hurt by people’s avoidance. You guys always amaze me how quickly you respond and come to my rescue and your prayers are so helpful and healing.
Speaking of prayers, I had one answered yesterday. My mom’s doctor called and cancelled her surgery for 5 weeks. That sounds bad but, in one way I should be stronger and so should my step dad. I was trying to think how and the heck is both Jerry and myself going to get to Kingston and we are both in wheelchairs right now, it was going to be really hard, so now we have a few more weeks to get belter. Another prayer that is being answered is my hair is growing back with a vengeance in the last two weeks I would say that my hair has grown about ¼ inch or more in some places. I’m excited that it is growing because it wasn’t supposed to come back, but it seems to be growing very fast all of sudden, I’m ok with that.
So this morning I’m off to Oshawa for another MRI. Then I see my oncologist next Friday for the results. Please pray that the tumours aren’t growing and if I can be so bold as to petition God for them to start disappearing.
Brad starts his Santa job tomorrow so the next six weeks will be hard on me as he works 7 days a week and 10 -12 hours a day. I am going to be stuck here by myself so I would love some visits or if you’re going Christmas shopping I would love to tag along we can take my jeep as my wheelchair is in the back and I have a handicap parking sticker. Well off I go, I hope you all have a wonderful day, I love you all...Thank you for walking this walk with me...

The song I plan I singing soon.....

Hair - Hair (The New Broadway Cast Recording)

"Hair" by the New Broadway Cast Recording I acknowledge that I do NOT own this music. This has been uploaded strictly for promotional purposes and I recommen...

YOUTUBE.COM

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

I went over to the cenotaph for the remembrance day ceremony. Brad took me over in the wheel chair as I couldn't walk that far or stand that long. I was sitting there and as the crowd filled up I recognized a few people I know from my old church, I was excited to see them and anxious to say hi to them. I noticed that no one was making eye contact with me I know they seen me. I even seen a wife see me then tap her husband on the shoulder and he did the slow look over his shoulder. Am I that hideous that you don't want to look at me or talk to me and even go out of your way to walk away from me? This really hurt... it hurt me deep down in my soul , it feels like my heart is bleeding.If they didn't know what to say how about " hi Im praying for you"....Something, anything but avoidance, these wonderful christian people...I know I shouldn't judge but didn't they judge me?

— feeling heartbroken.

Thomas Eric Dietzel, Christine Sutton Anderson, Bobby Vanderlip and 3 others like this.
1 share
Linda McDavitt-Hill Hope please forgive them. Sometimes we become afraid and decide it is better to say nothing and avoid the awkwardness. They will have regrets. Good for you for attending! You continue to amaze and inspire me in so many ways. Thank you.

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Connie Moelker That is terrible for you....i am so sorry to that. ....... sounds like they need prayer to open there hearts and minds.......
I think it is wonderful that you madè it out on this sunny day and remember those that you have in your corner and love and pray for you all the time.
Thank you also for taking your time to remember those who made our country free for us to live our lives .
You are a very special lady Hope and you always have been.
You Are always in my prayers and my heart..........

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Marilyn Godin Glad you were able to attend this ceremony.I too felt the need to attend today,could it be because of the reality of what has happened in Ottawa? Some people are such asses,no compassion towards other people's illness.

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Tracey Walden Happy, Healthy and Healed.

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Hope Stone One thing that did happen after the creamony was done some woman whom I don't know came up to me and looked at me then walked around the side of the wheelchair bent down and kissed my bald head and said God bless you. You think maybe it was an angel that could see how heart broken I was.?

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Marilyn Godin Did she seem to just disappear?

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Tracey Walden Yes I do.

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Charlene Hunt Fichter Forgive them, they know not what they do! I would hope Gods kissing angel healed your wounded heart!

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Connie Moelker That was amazing

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Tracey Walden I know just the angel who would do that for you.

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Diane Lyndon I am sorry people can be so cruel. Don't be brokenhearted. You have an army of people around you who love you and see the real you beyond the illness. I am one of them. Hugs to you for having the courage to attend and support those who serve.

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Connie Moelker Yes an angel for sure

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Cher Lepine I have known many people who go to church but that doesn't make them good Christian. I stopped going to church years ago. My house is just as sacred as any other place and the people in it are far more important to me than any church can hold. Prayers are answered by God anyplace. As for the rude and ignorant people that you saw today, just know that they are not to be judged by us. They have to live with the knowledge that they turned their backs on a fellow friend. I am proud that you went today. You took time out of your day and life to honor those who remembrance day is meant for. Don't worry about those who just went because 'it was the thing to do'. You're heart was in the right place - not theirs!

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Hope Stone The confusing thing for me is I know it was 4 people I know I have dozens of people who support me and love me why did it hurt so much? They aren't in my life but those few seem to take all the joy away from me and left me empty. How did that happen and it hurt so much. Why do much power to so few?

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Michael Jane Lewis Churches are full of people learning to behave ... unfortunately some choose not to do the work. This should not negate all those who are learning. Sometimes a good approach to people who ignore you is to roll up to them with a huge smile on your face calling out their name and expressing your joy at seeing them. I understand how hurtful people's reactions can be and as my mom always said, "there is no excuse for bad behaviour." ... but, most of them are afraid of their own mortality and sometimes just showing that you have not changed, in spirit, is a learning curve for them. I hope you never have to face another moment like that again but remember all the people in your life who love you and can only see HOPE!!! ... nothing else ...

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Diane Lyndon It is no reflection on you but speaks volumes about them.

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Gail Penley-Kunst Forgive my thoughts Hope as I can't begin to know how you felt. However I do know that avoidance is a safety mechanism we often default to in order to protect ourself from embarrassment or to protect others from being embarrassed by our clumsy words when compassion is felt but words are lost to us. I'll bet many went home and promptly prayed for you and will continue to do so. Bless your heart dear one.

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Lisa Morgan Slack Beautifully worded Gail Penley-Kunst

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Suzette Earhart I agree with Gail and the always loving and wise Jane. People like that are likely more afraid than they are thoughtless or mean. This is your opportunity to show true Christian love by putting aside how they made you feel and focus on them and how they feel. This ultimately can make everyone feel good.

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Lisa Kuypers Schroedter This is your unpolitical friend. Don't waste your time on them.....JERKS!

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Helena Bootsma Blessings to you, Hope. I'm sad that you experienced this hardship today. I hope you can let this pain go and can experience Jesus' comforting love.

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Hope Stone I have already let it go I guess it bothered me more that it bothered me. Lol

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Sandy Watson Awe Hun. Im so sorry this happened to you. Breaks my heart . You are not hideous and they are just thoughtless.They just felt uncomfortable and probably didnt know if they should approach you. They dont know you that well then. Xo

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Gerry Katherine Terry you know what that's why you have team awesome and let them deal with there problems

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Yvonne Weatherell their loss sweetie, that breaks my heart and maybe its like Sandy said they were uncomfortable, who knows, you are a good person we know that

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Marie Ann Lammers · 2 mutual friends
Hope I would like to apologize for my fellow church goers. No excuses. Just hello is needed. Know we are praying for you.

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Tracey Walden Babe they are insignificant. Don't use your energy thinking about them. Think of all the fun we will have when Sandy and I come visit.

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Sandy Watson Yah buddy! Crazy girl party. We can drink wine and be silly. Laugh till we pee ourselves.

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Nancy Garrod You always look fabulous to me, Hope !! Your smile and positive spirit brightened the room at your party !! HUGS !!

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Shawn Ellis Wow Hope ... let me first say thank you... i wouldn't have a clue what to say to someone in your position but to read what you just typed lets me know that is is best to recognise it and say hi... I have to say i read your posts and i am so proud to say i know you... god bless you, and please remember its not that there is something wrong with you... its just some don't know what to say and are embarrassed by that.... BTW if your out please stop by the town hall and see the cafe we opened... its changed a lot you should see it!!!

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Suzann Ross DeMille · Friends with Thomasine Dingee Vandertogt-Hoyle
Oh Hope. Peoples hearts are not as open as yours and it is in their ignorance that they did nothing. I am so sorry and praying for your soul and their crass behavior!

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Lynda Card I'm so sorry you were hurt today. Sometimes people who dont know what they should say find it easier to avoid you so they don't have to say anything. It doesn't make it right...it just means they don't know that a simple "hi, it's good to see you" would speak volumes. I think you are still every bit as beautiful, both inside and out, as you have always been. Sending prayers and love. Stay strong. Love you!

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Cathy Coveney Gilda Radner said that people change towards you when your sick in her book It 'a Always something. She passed away from ovarian cancer but was always trying to be on the upbeat Hope how totally rude and inconsiderate of the a holes. We are your # 1 fans and send & pray for good things for you and tip our hats off to you and only wish for good days for you

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Nancy Delcellier Hope, I am so sorry that you were hurt by people's ignorance today. And truly, I cannot imagine that it is anything else but ignorance and insecurity. While you continue to be so brave and open and honest in your journey, most others are terrified of b...See More

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Thomas Eric Dietzel Maybe it hurt more because you go through so many tough feelings daily, and you were putting yourself out to go there, and maybe thinking and hoping that of all places to go, you'd be able to rely on the people who go there to be deep enough to appreciate and see that we're all vulnerable. I don't know . Sorry that it happened .